


If I Forget You

by Nakama_Forever



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Agatha is not much help, Angst, Baz pretends he doesn't care but he really does, Blood and Injury, Cussing, He's not, Idiots in Love, In this house Simon curses like a normal, M/M, Memory Loss, Penelope just wants her best friend to be safe, Protective Baz, Simon is poisoned, Simon pretends he's ok, Takes place in 6th year, The Mage is an asshole, angst with happy ending, caring Baz, just a bit tho, no beta we die like numpties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakama_Forever/pseuds/Nakama_Forever
Summary: Simon is poisoned by a creature sent by the Humdrum. While the creature's venom is not deadly, it has some nasty side effects. Put that and Simon's wonky magic together, and you've got a recipe for disaster.OrSimon's magic amplifies the effects of a venom, which causes him to be extremely sick.It's better than it sounds, I promise.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 14
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my first ever story. Positive criticism is always appreciated! Please let me know of any errors, as English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope confronts Simon about his indifference towards his health.

**Simon**

"You were poisoned?!" Penny all but screams, slamming her hands down on the table and leaning over it as she said it, too.

A few heads turn in our direction, not that I could find it in myself to care, since my own was feeling like it could burst at any second.

"Penny," I begin, rubbing circles on my temples to try an ease the building headache, "its fine, really, it barely got me." Of course this didn't settle with her, and before I could take a bite out of the scone I had been buttering, she grabbed my arm and started to drag me out the dining hall.

"Penny!" I protest, juggling the scone on my available hand in an effort to not drop it.

"Have you gone mad?! Wait a second--my--our stuff!" She doesn't stop, instead walks faster, and I curse under my breath when the scone slips from my hold and lands on the floor.

Anger begins to well up in me. Not only did I have a headache that was threatening to split my head open, but I was actually really bloody hungry. I just wanted to have breakfast, go to class and pray on my way to Mummers House that Baz wouldn't be there so I could pass out until I felt better.

**"Stop!"** It drips with magic.

I don't have time to panic over my slip-up before I'm crashing against Penny's back.

"Fuck--shit!!" I take a step back, "I'm so sorry Penny! I-- I didn't--" She whips around so fast, her blue coloured pony-tail slaps me across the face before I meet her eyes--and when I do, I flinch a bit under her gaze. She looks... Disappointed?

"Enough is enough, Simon," she sighs out.

"Penny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to add magic into--"

"I'm not talking about that!" I stare at her, confused, because I really don't know what she means.

She lets go of my arm to cross both of hers over her chest, and I am momentarily distracted by the tingling feeling of blood rushing back into my limb.

"I'm talking about how you constantly put your life in danger, Simon." I stop wiggling my fingers and look up at her again.

Oh. This.

"Pen, we've had this conversation before. I'm sorry that I worry you, I really don't mean to, but you know it can't be helped." My stomach suddenly reminds me of the breakfast I never had and I take a moment to look behind me. Sure enough, the scone is still there.

Why couldn't we have done this over breakfast?

"Anyway," I continue, "what am I going to tell the Mage? 'Sir, I know that the world of mages depends on me greatly, but I'd like to resign due to that I'm worried about myself.' That's selfish."

My stomach protests yet again.

"Pen--" I pause to rub at my temples. It's like my stomach and head are competing over who will kill me first. "We really couldn't have had this conversation over breakfast? Its not like I mind if anyone hears; I literally get roughed up almost every other day, this isn't--"

I'm slapped across the head before I can finish.

"Merlin's-fucking-beard! What--!"

"This is precisely the reason for why I dragged you out here! Do you hear what you sound like?"

"Pen, what--"

"I know you look up to the Mage, Simon, I really do." She takes a steadying breath. "But look how he's conditioned you! How can you believe that being injured almost everyday, and now _poisoned_ , is nothing serious?"

-

**Penelope**

I've had it. I don't care if I have to go against Merlin himself; I am a thread away from grabbing Simon and spelling us away.

There is no way --in any world-- that what happens to him is normal. And that's coming from someone who uses magic on a daily basis.

"The Mage is not like that, Penelope. He cares about me, as he does for the world of mages, he just wants what's best."

He's fuming. Literally. The smell of smoke is getting thicker by the second. It makes me angrier.

"If only you got this worked up whenever it concerned you. Simon, I _am_ sorry, but you need to see that the Mage does not have your best interests at heart! What even poisoned you?! And how is it that you are still poisoned? What did the school's doctor say? _The Mage_? What--"

"I'm fine!!"

... 

\- 

**Simon**

I shouldn't have yelled.

I can see hurt flash over her eyes before she takes a step back. Damn it.

"Pen, no, I--" I reach for her hand but she immediately pulls away. Serves me right.

Crowley, I'm such an idiot.

"Look, I'm sorry." I thread the hand she shrugged off in my hair, instead, and pull at it. A nervous habit that Penny would have scolded me for on any other day.

"I shouldn't act like a twat when all you're doing is looking out for me. I know this; but I also know that your view of the Mage is not the best. Please trust me when I say that he's not the villain, the Humdrum is, and believe that there's nothing I want more than to be done with all of his schemes once and for all."

I can feel the wall between us weaken a little, and I try again. This time, she doesn't shrug me off.

"I'm really sorry."

...

It feels like hours before I feel her holding my hand back, and I sigh in relief.

"You are not entirely forgiven, and I want answers."

I smile. I wouldn't expect anything else.

"Yeah, alright."

"What poisoned you?"

"Uhh, I think it was called a Tronder?

"A Tronder?! I thought they went extinct decades ago!"

"Yeah, the Mage and school doctor also said something similar. It's kind of the reason for why they couldn't treat it properly. That and my magic sort of repelled theirs away when they tried."

"Wait, let me get this straight; no antidote or spell was administered to you, which means; you'll have to endure the effects of the venom?"

I nod.

She does not look happy.

"Simon, _what_ \--"

"It's fine! Really. The mage and doctor said the poison is not deadly. I will barely notice it."

She glares and squeezes my hand; cutting off the blood flow once more.

"Honest, Pen, you don't have to worry. They told me the longest it could take to wear off would be two weeks. It's okay."

She stares--or more like glares at me for what feels like the longest time. Finally, she breaks eye contact off with a sigh.

"Fine, Simon. I won't worry so much, _only_ because I know what the Tronder venom does." She let's go of my hand and I let go of the breath I had been holding.

"I won't be okay with this if it happens again. Remember that. What if it was a creature with a deadlier venom that went extinct? You need to worry about your well-being, Si. Tell that to the Mage."

I open my mouth to re-assure her before the bell that announces the start of our lectures interrupts me.

Well, I won't be getting breakfast anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading. Comments as well as positive criticism are always appreciated :)
> 
> -Kay


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon thinks his mask is flawless; Baz can see right through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome back. I want to apologize for the late chapter, some things came up and took all of my time. Once again, this is not beta'd and I am very sorry for any mistakes you may find. English is not my first language, but please feel free to point them out. Happy reading :)

**Simon**

After grabbing our bags from the dining hall, Penny and I parted with the promise that I'd let her know immediately if I began feeling bad--and another I'd tell her how everything happened in detail later.

I wipe the drops of sweat that run down my neck with a frown as I speed walk to my first lecture of the day; Magic History.

Barely a week in school and I was already going to be late.

Agatha will definitely have something to say about it.

I stop dead in my tracks when it dawns on me.

Fuck. Agatha. I completely forgot about her.

She'd been filling her plate when Penny dragged me out, and when we went back, she wasn't there anymore.

I resume my walk with a groan. Hopefully, she won't be too mad.

-

Everyone's eyes turn to me the second I step foot into the room. All but the professor's, who has his back turned and looks to be writing something up on the board.

I shuffle from foot to foot while I wait for him to notice me. Every pair of eyes feels like added weight to my already tense shoulders, and I find myself staring at a spot on the wall to distract myself.

"Alright, class, who can tell me what--Oh, Mr. Snow, how nice of you to join us."

Hearing my name snaps my attention away from the spot that was suspiciously beginning to look like a scone, and I clear my throat before turning around.

"I, um, sorry for being late, professor Mcquoid."

He gives me a once over. Then another. He's quiet while he does it, too, and I feel somewhat self-conscious under his stare. I probably look as bad as I feel.

Ever since I woke up, I've been on edge, like I could go off at any second. Everything is too loud and too bright. Honestly, I would have stayed in bed--lectures be damned--if it weren't for Baz.

He'd know immediately that I'm not on my best game, and I can't risk having him try something when I'm down. That and if I have to spend a second more than I need to with him, I _will_ go off.

I make a mental note to make a shrine later and thank Merlin, Morgana, and Methuselah that I don't share this class with him.

"Chosen one's affairs?"

The professor's question stops my train of thought, and I realize he's looking at me expectantly.

"Yes, sir." I lie.

He's quiet for a few seconds before he dismisses me with a wave of his hand.

"Very well, you may take a seat."

Everyone goes back to their work again, and I bite back a sigh of relief while making my way to my desk.

Professor Mcquoid has never really liked me much--or The Mage--for some reason.

Kind of like Baz and the rest of the Pitch family.

He probably thinks we'll destroy the world of mages before the Humdrum gets the chance.

In the back of my head, I hear the professor picking up the lesson from where he left off, but I can't really focus. The headache and hunger pangs I had apparently forgotten about come crashing back at once, and it takes all I have not to lay my head down and pass out for the remainder of the lecture.

All in all, it _could_ be much worse.

It's just two weeks. I got this; I won't let it take a hold of me.

Not even my twat of a roommate will notice.

-

**Baz**

Something is definitely wrong with Snow.

The fiasco Bunce and him caused at breakfast was enough of a dead giveaway, sure, but I also took notice of his weird behavior in the morning.

Usually, while I do my morning routine, consisting of showering, getting dressed, and organizing my bag; he will complain through it all.

He will whine and accuse me of hogging the bathroom on purpose to keep him from using it--can't deny that one.

He will throw a fuss about me "spending too much time in front of the mirror," when "you don't even have a reflection." Even if he can clearly see that I do.

And lastly; he will call me a "posh bastard" for always organizing my bag so meticulously. Although he didn't use that exact word; I doubt he even knows it exists, let alone what it means.

This morning, however, he was already gone by the time I got out of the bathroom.

I thought it was odd, not hearing the usual banging on the door while I showered. I presumed him still asleep, which is why I instantly knew something was going on when I opened the door to an empty room.

The few times Snow didn't stick around to judge me all through my morning routine, were when we had particularly nasty fights about one of the three steps it consists of, and he would storm out the door before going off and risking triggering the anathema.

My point is, almost nothing can keep him from arguing with me every morning; he hates me too much to not take the chance.

Not even his precious scones. I suspect he can't digest them well before telling me off first.

"Mr. Pitch, since you seem so invested in the lesson, would you mind telling us the answer to question number four?"

It's work to not roll my eyes at the pathetic attempt of the professor to put me on the spot. If my mother were still alive, he wouldn't even be here. It's obvious that's why he dislikes me.

I stand up and answer--as well as explain it, without so much as looking at the book or breaking eye contact off with the professor. I already memorized the material being taught weeks ago.

"Anything else, professor?" I raise my left eyebrow, daring him to try something else.

He's smart enough to know when to back down.

"Ah, n-no, Mr. Pitch. Thank you, that was correct."

At least he had the decency to look embarrassed while he said it.

I sit back down as the lesson continues, and try to remember where I left off with my thoughts earlier.

Ah, yes: something is wrong with Snow and I need to know exactly what.

It's a good thing we share the next lecture; I'll find out by the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading. Comments as well as positive criticism are always appreciated :)
> 
> -Kay


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon has a tough time. The Mage is a right jerk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I can't apologize enough for how late this is, really. However I hope you still continue to enjoy it. As an apology I've made this chapter a bit longer than the previous ones :) As always, positive criticism is always appreciated and my apologies for any mistakes as this is not beta'd and my first language is not English. With that said, happy reading!

**Simon**

“Mr. Snow, while I’m glad to know you enjoy my class so much, I do need to ask you to leave now.”

“Huh? What?” It’s then when I realize that it’s only me in the classroom. Have been for some time, if Professor McQuoid in front of my desk and the look on his face are anything to go by.

I notice he’s staring me down, and I’m suddenly afraid he can see right through me.

“Is everything alright, Mr. Snow?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes,” I say way too quickly. “Sorry, Professor, just a bit tired.” He doesn’t seem to buy it, but I could care less as I grab my bag and all but run to the door. “Please excuse me,” and with that, I’m out.

-

“Where were you?” Penny whisper-yells as soon as I sit down next to her. “Miss Possibelf didn’t even question your tardiness; do you think The Mage told her about the accident?”

This time, I really can’t help laying my head down on the desk. “I don’t know, maybe?”

She goes silent, then, and I almost feel guilty for wishing she stayed that way.

“Si… Are you okay?” Fuck, that’s her worried tone.

“Yeah, Pen. Just tired.” It sounds muffled from where my face is squashed between my arms, and somehow, that makes it sound even less believable.

“Simon, you swore you’d tell me if you began feeling sick. The Tronder venom is only supposed to cause mild headaches and a slight fever—you look just about ready to fall over!”

Someone clears their throat—Miss Possibelf by the sound of it—and Penny sits up straight as a board next to me.

I wait for her to also call me out, but she just resumes the class. As if she hadn’t noticed how I was obviously not paying attention.

The Mage really must have told her.

“This conversation is not over.” Penny hissed in my ear.

I let my eyes close with a sigh. Maybe a nap would cure the headache and overall discomfort I’m feeling everywhere.

My stomach growls.

Except that.

“Must be nice being The Mage’s pet and not having to worry about class. If it were any other decent headmaster, you wouldn’t have made it ten-feet near the front gate.”

My eyes fly wide open and my stomach clenches painfully.

Fuck, how did I forget?

Baz.

-

**Baz**

If I wasn’t sure before, I have zero doubts now. Something is very wrong with Snow.

He came in late and didn’t so much as sneer my way as he went to his seat. I know it’s a very Normal thing to say, but he almost looks like a zombie.

_“—do you think The Mage told her about the accident?”_ I hear Bunce whisper. It’s in times like these where I appreciate my Vampire abilities.

Accident?

I give Snow a once over out of the corner of my eye; he doesn’t look like he went through one. If anything, he looks very tired.

_“Si… Are you okay?”_ Bunce’s tone alarms me. As Snow’s shadow, she is constantly fussing over him—however this time it doesn’t sound like she’s worried he might trip over his untied bootlaces.

_“Yeah, Pen. Just tired.”_ A blatant lie.

_“Simon, you swore you’d tell me if you began feeling sick. The Tronder venom is only supposed to cause mild headaches and a slight fever—you look just about ready to fall over!”_ I accidentally press my pen down too hard and snap the tip right off.

“Fuck!” I curse under my breath while doing damage control. Thankfully there wasn’t much ink left in it.

A Tronder? Didn’t they go extinct nearly a decade ago?

Bunce goes back to her work when Miss Possibelf calls her out, but Snow doesn’t even try to move. And then Miss Possibelf just goes back to the lecture—as if she hadn’t seen him.

Something definitely more serious than Snow being tired or Tronder venom is going on.

Maybe if I prod him a little…?

“Must be nice being The Mage’s pet and not having to worry about class. If it were any other decent headmaster, you wouldn’t have made it ten-feet near the front gate.”

Well, that may have been harsher than I intended.

The reaction is immediate, though. He shoots up from his desk so fast, he almost tumbles off.

“Is everything alright, Mr. Snow?” Miss Possibelf asks.

“Y-yes, Professor. Sorry.” He says sheepishly.

The Professor seems to study him for a few seconds before resuming the lecture once more, and as soon as she does, Snow turns to give me a nasty glare.

Well that’s more like the Simon Snow I know and love.

“Not today, Baz. I’m not in the mood.” He growls.

I’m almost intimidated.

Almost.

“Oh no, The Chosen One is feeling slightly off. Should I worry for the safety of our classmates?”

“Ha!” He scoffed. “As if you cared about anyone but yourself.”

Oh, if you knew.

“Quite hypocrite from your part when you’re threatening to go off in a full classroom.”

“I’m not going to go off!” He hissed, and as soon as he did, smoke began filling the air.

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Clearly.”

_“Simon,”_ Bunce calls, _“just forget it.”_

Honestly, if Snow ever decided to follow Bunce’s advice, he would be surprised by how many disasters he could avoid.

“Yes, Snow, best listen to your lap dog.”

The smell of smoke grows even thicker.

“Shut the fuck up, Baz.”

At this rate he’ll go off before I get my answers.

“Keep smoking like that, Snow, and you might _poison_ us all before blowing us up.” And then he very nearly does go off.

“What do you know?!” He abruptly gets up and reaches for me, but Bunce manages to grab his arm and pull him back.

_“Simon!”_ She tries. _“Calm—”_

“ **Keep your cool!** ”

And then Snow is shivering next to me.

All eyes turn to the front, where Miss Possibelf stood with her wand out and pointed.

“Mr. Snow,” She begins sternly, “if you cannot control yourself, I recommend you take the day off from lectures.” It wasn’t a question.

“B-but Professor, Baz—!”

“Is not the one currently disrupting.” She finishes.

Snow’s head turns from Miss Possibelf to me for a few times, before seemingly giving up. He yanks his bag off of his desk and glares at me through chattering teeth before stomping off.

Whispers fill the room for a few seconds before the class continues once again, and I could feel Bunce’s heavy gaze on me through it all.

Well, that could have gone better.

-

**Simon**

I slam the door to my—our; I bitterly remember—room so hard, I’m sure it was heard all the way to America.

I throw my bag on my bed, not caring in the least that books flew everywhere, and go about summoning The Sword of Mages. It took a few tries, since on top of having a killer headache, being hungry and feeling uncomfortably off, I was now really bloody cold.

I have no doubts I would have gone off out of frustration after messing up the incantation for a third time—were Miss Possibelf not made it physically impossible with her damn spell.

I slow down my swinging when guilt stabs me not a second after that thought. Okay, this wasn’t Miss Possibelf’s fault; if anything, she prevented a disaster. But she wouldn’t have had to if it weren’t for…

I look at Baz’s side of the room and grip my sword tightly.

“That—bloody—fucking—posh—git—bastard!!” I yell with each swing.

Fuck, okay, maybe that wasn’t a good idea.

I’m still trying to recover my breath and will away the sudden dizziness when I hear the door open behind me.

Merlin in the sky—I’ll fucking kill him.

“Why you little—!” I almost choke on air when I see it’s not Baz at the entrance.

“Sir—I, umm…w-what brings you here?” He just stands there saying nothing for what feels like forever, before his eyebrows almost disappear in his hairline. It’s then when I realize I’ve my sword pointed at him.

Oh, for fucking—

I embarrassingly will it way and stand in the middle of the room awkwardly.

“Ah, sorry, sir. Just practicing my form.”

What feels like another eternity passes before he finally moves to close the door behind him.

“Is everything alright, Simon?” This damn question again.

I consider lying because I know he has more important things to do than babysit me, especially when it was no one’s fault but mine I went ahead and got hit. But… I don’t really feel like it. What I do feel like is like shit, and that leaves no room in my muddled head to even try and come up with an excuse.

“No, sir.” I sigh. “Not really.”

He says nothing—does nothing, and I feel like I might burst under his hard gaze. When he begins moving toward my bed, I almost sigh out loud in relief.

He sits and pats the spot next to him (after putting my books out of the way) and I immediately follow.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Simon.”

Where do I begin?

“I, umm… well I’m… not feeling so good, sir.” His eyebrows go up once more and I panic. “I mean, I know nothing could be done and it’ll go away soon, but I… I guess what I’m trying to say, sir, is… were there side effects of the venom that perhaps you… didn’t tell me about…?” He’s quiet.

He’s quiet and I can’t help but feel like an idiot.

I notice his eyes examining me from top to bottom and his lips press into a thin line.

Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me today? I almost sound like Penny. The Mage would never lie to me about something like this; in fact, he would have healed me on the spot if it weren’t for my stupid-out-of-control-magic.

“I already told you what the effects entailed, Simon. Small headaches and a low fever—nothing more, nothing less.” His tone lacked patience. “You should be glad it was a Tronder you were up against; this slight inconvenience you’re going through is more favorable than the certain death a _true_ dangerous creature could cause, wouldn’t you agree?”

I do.

Of course I agree; he’s right—he always is. Here I am complaining about something so stupid when I should really just be glad it was all I got away with.

I’ve had worse before.

I’ve… I’ve had _worse_ before.

I’ve had worse before… so why am I not glad?

‘ _How can you believe that being injured almost every day, and now poisoned, is nothing serious?’_

I startle a bit when Penny’s words come up again.

“Simon,” The Mage calls sternly, effectively snapping me out of my trance. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

I mentally slap myself—why I am doubting The Mage when all he’s doing is looking out for me?

“Y-yes, sir, of course.” Somehow It doesn’t sound as convincing as I wanted it to.

The Mage scowls.

Shit.

“Remember who you _are_ , Simon. The World of Mages depend solely on you. Do you think the Humdrum will reschedule simply because you’re feeling slightly unwell?”

I shake my head no in shame.

“What was that?”

“No, sir.”

“Good.” He stands. “Remember, Simon, you can only grow stronger from these accidents.” And then he’s making his way to the door, but I can’t bring myself to move.

My head is pounding harder than ever, and my skin feels like a winter coat.

“You will return to class tomorrow, and I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

“Yes, sir.” And with the sound of the door opening and closing, he’s gone.

…

My stomach growls; I almost want to laugh.

The Mage was completely right—I’m being dramatic. Wasn’t I confident in the morning that I would get through this quietly? Great job so far, me.

I slump back on my bed with a sigh. “I can only grow stronger from this.”

My stomach growls yet again. “Oh, shut up. Lunch is in a few hours.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading. Comments as well as positive criticism are always appreciated :) 
> 
> -Kay


End file.
